You might feel a knot in your stomach or a sense of dread—and hey, that’s perfectly okay. No judgment here. You’re also not alone in those feelings. So many of us have complex relationships with family, which makes traveling home for the holidays a mixed bag. Here’s how to effectively set boundaries with family during the holidays while still enjoying your time.

Communicate and Set Expectations Clearly

The unique challenge about traveling home for the holidays is that everyone will have different expectations. It’s important to level set early on. By doing so, you ensure that there are fewer miscommunications and misunderstandings.

To set expectations, ask yourself these questions before you board the plane home: 

• Do you need or want a ride from the airport?
• Where will you be staying during your time at home?
• Would you like to spend your entire time at home with your family? Would you like to set aside time for friends, your immediate family, or for alone time?
• Will you be home for every meal or are there certain days of the week when you will do your own thing?
• Will you get a rental car, plan to share a family member’s car, or just hitch a ride with family?

Of course, your family might not be happy with how you spend your time. But your job isn’t to manage their feelings or disappointments. It’s simply to communicate.

Budget for Family Time and Alone Time

Family time is the crux of the holiday season. So we totally understand why time with loved ones is a priority. While family time is essential, don’t forget to set aside time for yourself and your immediate family. Whether it’s time to exercise, going to your favorite local restaurants, or getting outside in nature to see the sights, planning time apart from your larger family can be a life saver during the holidays. It’s also a chance to check in with yourself and your immediate family and gauge how everyone is doing.

Plan For Separate Lodging

Okay, this might sound harsh, but sometimes, booking separate lodging from your family during the holidays can make a world of difference. Cozying up with 12 people and three bathrooms under the same roof might sound nice. But after day five, it might get a little overwhelming. Instead, figure out the best plan for yourself and your immediate family. Whether you book a hotel or a cozy AirBnB, prioritize your peace of mind. There is nothing wrong with staying separate from your family during the holidays. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Be Firm on What You Will and Will Not Discuss

One of the best boundaries you can set with family during the holidays is topics of discussion. There is nothing more awkward than sitting around the family dinner table and that one uncle or aunt (you know the one) asks a question that makes the room come to a sudden stop. 

So why are you dating anybody yet? You’re too beautiful to be single. When are you going to have kids? Have you started trying? How have you been doing since the divorce? We never liked your ex that much anyway.

Before you head to the family dinner table, decide what topics are off limits. Yes, you get to decide what you will and will not share. If someone brings up an off-limits topic, you can respond gently with, “I’d prefer not to talk about that, but tell me what’s been going on with you.” You might also say, “I don’t have any updates there, but I have been traveling the country and really excelling in my career.”

Steer the conversation away from topics that you don’t feel comfortable divulging. Focus on the topics you want to share. 

Let’s talk about the best travel outfit… at least according to me. If you’ve ever stood in front of your closet the night before a trip thinking, What do normal humans wear to the airport?, you are not alone. Travel outfits are a whole category of their own. You want to be comfortable enough to sit for hours, warm enough for unpredictable airplane temps, and still feel like the best version of yourself while you’re rolling through the terminal.

After years of flying for work, for book tours, and for fun, I’ve figured out a few simple guidelines that keep me comfortable and polished every time. Think of this as travel advice from a friend who has learned through many, many boarding groups.

Start With Layers You Can Count On

Airport air conditioning has a mind of its own. You might be hot one minute and freezing the next. Add in perimenopausal temperature fluctuation to that… layers are gonna be your best friend.

I like to create a sort of, 7-Layer Dip of clothing. I start with a fitted tank or tee, a soft long-sleeve or lightweight sweater, and then a jacket that looks great but doesn’t make you feel bulky. I love a packable jacket for this. I’ve had a green one from Madewell for almost a decade and my newest from Jarbo is magic. You can roll them into a ball, toss them in your tote, and somehow they come out looking great. If you’ve ever wondered what sorcery feels like, it’s that.

Choose Pants You Can Move In (But Not Sleep In!)

This is my gentle—but firm—travel rule: your pants should stretch and move with you, but still look like you’re headed somewhere, not like you rolled out of bed.

Here are refined options that always work:

• Tailored knit trousers
• Soft ponte pants with structure
• High-quality straight or wide-leg denim with stretch
• Polished pull-on trousers that read elevated but feel easy

These pieces are comfortable without looking like loungewear. You can sit comfortably for hours, but you wouldn’t feel tempted to nap in them. That’s the sweet spot.

Shoes That Love You Back

You’ll walk more than you expect on any travel day. Between security, gate changes, and the never-ending hunt for a decent airport salad, your shoes matter.

Great options include:

• Clean sneakers that look intentional
• Soft loafers
• Flat boots or low-heeled boots

Just make sure, if you don’t have pre-check that you get pre-check asap! But until then, choose shoe options for your travel outfit that are easy to slip off in the security line.

A Tote That Makes You Feel Put Together

Around here we love a good tote. It’s like a great assistant: it carries the chaos so you don’t have to.

I always look for one with a flat bottom because it sits securely on top of my carry-on. That small detail makes such a difference. No more wrestling your bag as it flops around while you’re trying to strut through terminal three.

Inside the tote:

• Approximately 25 smaller bags to keep the tote organized
• A couple pockets to find things quickly
• Enough structure that it holds its shape
• A strap that stays put over your shoulder

When your tote works, you work.

Travel Extras That Make the Day Easier

These little things make a big difference:

• A refillable water bottle so you can stay hydrated
• Delicious hand cream, Bamford makes my favorite
• Socks in your tote if you run cold
• Headphones for the perfect airport soundtrack
• Charging cables for ALL the things
• A great book to read

You’ll never regret being prepared.

The Heart of It All: Comfortable and Confident

Travel days can be stressful. Your travel outfit should be the easy part. You deserve to feel comfortable, capable, and put together from the moment you grab your suitcase until you arrive at your destination.

It will be my fourth business trip in as many weeks, so sister, I know a thing or two about what to wear when you travel. In the summer it’s a bit easier to figure out ensembles but in the fall it takes just the right amount of layering. This outfit is my favorite to fly in when I don’t have to go directly from the plane to a meeting (that’s a whole other level of style). The lightweight sweater is great for layering, it’s super flattering to every body type. 

Also, can I get a witness for the leggings?

They’re Spanx so they hold it ALL in. Not enough that you can wear them as pants (hello, aint nobody need to see the junk in my trunk under such thin fabric) but they’re great to wear under something longer. I love them so much I bought them in three different styles/prints. I’m tagging some of my favorites below so you can find the perfect option for you. 

This also makes a super great option for dropping off the kids at school — which is why you’ll see me rocking it at least once a week. 

My backpack is from Tumi which is definitely pricier but I just replaced my old Tumi after FIVE years together. You guys, nothing on the planet holds up better for business trips and holding your laptop and keeping you hands-free when you’re on the go. If you don’t have that kind of budget I’ve also included some bags that keep this look but do it for WAY less. 

|  sweater  |  leggings   |  shoes   |  bag   |  sunglasses  |

I’m a big believer in looking cute when you travel but I don’t think that means you have to give up comfort… I just disguise my comfort. Leggings are my go-to for casual traveling because I can pair them with pretty much anything. The only two rules here? Make sure your leggings are not see through and wear something on top that covers up your bum. I found these leggings from NIKE last week and I dig the ribbing which adds a cool texture– kind of like the moto leggings I couldn’t stop wearing last season. 

This sweater is perfect because it keeps me warm on the plane and it’s chic. I adore the lacing detail at the bottom and the hood I will never actually wear up in real life.

I literally gasped when I saw these sneakers at the Nike store last week. Between the color, the brand and the leopard print they are honestly my dream shoe! Plus, they’re Nike free-runs  so they come in more than one color! I wear these on the plane but I’ll wear them later when I hit up the hotel gym. Winning!

For accessories, I like to travel with a couple must-haves. First is a good bag that I can put all my stuff in. Depending on the trip I like to either take my backpack or a great tote bag like this one.  Second is a great pair of shades! If I don’t have to go straight to a meeting or dinner after the plan then I won’t wear any makeup. So the best way to cover up some tiredness is with a pair of big sunglasses. Lastly is a reusable water bottle. I can’t say this enough but if you take away anything from this post is that when you travel you need to make sure you stay hydrated. Not only does your skin become dehydrated on the plane but if you travel as much as me sometimes is not so easy to grab a water bottle when you’re going from one thing to the next. I pack a reusable bottle and then I fill it up over and over throughout the trip. 

If you want to see more ideas on how I stay on top of it while I am traveling for work then check out the video below: 

Oh man you guys, I leave for Hawaii in just a few days and I’m over the moon! Last year we took the boys on vacation and it was the most fun ever… you can read all about it here. But in order for us to actually get there, I have to start packing now for our family of five to spend a week in another location. And in the midst of all of this we teamed up with AC Lens to make sure that our eyewear is styling when we’re poolside. So if you’re curious? This is how to pack for Hawaii. 

I think most of us know how to pack for a trip but it’s important to keep your destination in mind to ensure you utilize the space in your suitcase. When it comes to a tropical locale, these are my go-to’s.

• If you have kiddos like I do, consider doing special airplane backpacks… it keeps them occupied for the long hours in the air.
• Need something fun to read? Well then you should definitely check out this list of my favorite beach reads.
• Want a bathing suit that works for moms? I wrote a whole post about it here.
• Need some vacation wardrobe inspiration? Check this out!
• Don’t forget your toiletry bag, these are my essentials.

And speaking of vacation wardrobe… don’t forget sunglasses! Part of preparing for this trip means that I spent a fair amount of time choosing cute sunnies for both me and the boys. I dug shopping on AC Lens because I was able to choose from a ton of options online and they were totally affordable. Check out our fun options below and be sure to follow me on Instagram next week for a shot of the Hollis boys in their new shades. 

If you want to grab your own sunglasses I’m linking them below:

The Boys Sunglasses are HERE

My Brown sunglasses are HERE

My Turquoise sunglasses are HERE

And…the best part? AC Lens has offered Chic readers 20% off through February 28th using the code “CHIC20” (some exclusions apply).  Happy shopping y’all! 

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of AC Lens. The opinions and text are all mine.

I think most of you know by now how obsessed I am with books. Between writing my own and reading at least a few every week, I count them as one of my favorite things in life. Since so many of you reach out asking for recommendations on what to read next I thought it would be fun to try a little book club of sorts.

Here’s how it works. First up, “like” my author page on Facebook which is where all of our discussions will take place. Next, print out our super cute summer reading challenge check list.

Then just choose a book and read along with us! First up this week is a book set in the summer. It can be any genre, any type, a brand new read or something you’ve read a thousand times.

Need some ideas? Check out my all time favorite books or this list of my favorite summer reads. 

We’ll discuss the books we’re reading all week long on Facebook and every Friday we’ll chat about the new challenge for the following week. It’s going to be super fun… I mean, super fun if you’re a book nerd like I am, obviously.

A couple of weeks back I did something crazy… I took three boys under the age of seven on a five hour flight! I was so nervous about it you guys! I have a two year old who can’t keep still in any scenario, let alone one where you’re required to wear a seatbelt during takeoff and landing! Then I had an idea… maybe I could fill at backpack with STUFF! Not expensive stuff, just Dollar Store stuff and snack filled stuff and it would be a fun surprise for the plane and an in flight activity for all the kids. So my Airplane Backpack was born!

For my in flight activity I went to the dollar bin and bought up everything that would work for each boy’s age. I had crayons, colored pencils, snacks, books, little toys, puzzles you name it. I even included some wipes and a plastic bag to accommodate all those little pieces of trash that somehow collect around small children. Then I told the boys that I had something special for them but that they weren’t allowed to have it until they were buckled up on the plane. It was quite the build up.

I’m happy to report that our Flight Activity Backpack entertained them not only on the plane but they continued to play with their treats during our whole vacation. It ended up being a great way to keep them occupied during our trip. 

Do you pack a similar activity bag? Is there anything I forgot to add in mine? Please let me know! ~Rachel 

Then I heard about the book Smart Money, Smart Kids and it was so timely I nabbed myself a copy. The book is written by Dave Ramsey and his daughter Rachel Cruze and gives great advice and ideas for everything from teaching your kids to work, to spending, to encouraging them to give some of that money away. It’s written in an engaging way (which is saying a lot for the lady who mostly reads books about Vampire love triangles!) and it definitely got me thinking about how to apply these ideas to our own life, particularly how important it is that they learn to save.

Saving, changes your children’s relationship with money, it teaches them patience and how to set and achieve a goal. In short, these are all things my boys need and so I had to figure out how to incorporate the ideas in a chic way. Get ready readers, there’s a craft up ahead!

Every summer the Hollis family takes a summer vacation. Sometimes it’s a short getaway to Palm Springs, sometimes it’s fancy and requires passports but either way we choose a destination and we go. This year I thought it’d be neat to incorporate the boys into planning and saving for the trip. 

We worked together to create a Dream Vacation board… basically I just grabbed a ton of old magazines and encouraged the boys to tear out any pictures that looked like something they’d like to do on vacation. Their choices included: swimming, roller coasters, drinking yogurt from one of those squeezy pouches and a picture of a zebra chasing a lion. Not totally sure how all of those apply, but you know what, this is their dream board too so who am I to judge? My pictures involved laying on the beach, hiking, several different kinds of cake and a perfect looking glass of white wine… hubby wasn’t there to help us that day, but I assure you, he’d be just as excited about that wine and cake as I am.

Once we had enough pictures to fill our canvas I used Mod Podge to glue them down. Once they dried (about 4 hours) I used it again as a thin layer over the top to make it look shiny.

When the shiny top coat dried completely I printed out the letters for vacation (each letter is a different font) and glued those on as well.

The end result is colorful and bright and filled with a pretty visual to help us towards our goal. I leaned it against the counter in the kitchen and placed a glass jar next to it (again, it’s important for them to see the money accumulate).

The boys use the money they earn from their extra chores to fill the jar and every week we tally up how much we’ve saved. We take that number and multiply it by 10 (mommy and daddy’s contribution) and then put it into the savings account. After 5 weeks we have $187 saved, we’ve agreed to save until July 4th weekend whatever we have at that point is what we have to spend on our getaway. You could use this same idea on smaller projects like helping your own kids save for a new bike, a game or karate classes. In our case, multiplying the money was necessary (otherwise we’d be camping in the backyard!) but with smaller items I’d encourage you to let them experience the achievement of raising the money all by themselves. 

If you make your own board, I hope you’ll tag a photo on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram with #TheChic so we can see what you’re saving for. And a big shout out to our friends at Dave Ramsey who partnered with us on this idea! As for us, I’ll keep you posted on where our saving takes us… let’s just hope they serve cake! ~Rachel